October 5th, 2001

My healing involved two miracles. My subsequent physical healing was dependent on an initial miraculous spiritual intervention and discovery.

I had been actively applying the transformative principles of A Course In Miracles for several years. One evening, I realized I had never had a personal experience of Jesus. I had been applying His workbook lessons everyday for years, but had never knowingly had a personal awareness of Him.  Realizing that the fault must be with what I had been looking WITH, not with what I had been looking FOR, I asked for an experience I could recognize. In an instant, without even a second to resist, I was thrust into an Energy so powerful and so accelerated I could barely breathe. I was swept past all perceived obstacles, all assumed blocks to the awareness of the inclusive nature of Love. Certain that this powerful presence must be Jesus, and therefore the answer to my request, I presumed Its Beneficence and was able to begin to relax into this demonstration of true “at Oneness”. And from that moment, I began to laugh. For an hour or more, I laughed in pure delight, for Jesus was showing me in pure experience the joy of Who I really was, the Self we all share. During that state of timelessness, I was invited to remember the nature of Truth. I vowed never again to believe the appearance of limitation in any form.

Several days later, I found myself lying on the ground, apparently the “victim” of a motorcycle accident. Somewhere piqued by my situation, I wondered sarcastically whether this predicament was my “reward” for my new knowledge. I laughed at myself. Wasn’t my “new knowledge” actually a certainty that nothing could harm me, no matter what the appearance? I reminded myself that I was guaranteed not “safe” circumstances, but a new way to look at them.

I returned to this musing several hours later when being kept overnight in the hospital for observation, I began looking for a practical solution for the pain I was experiencing. I had refused medication in the emergency room. But now the annoying twinge had developed into a persistent and throbbing ache. Every instinct developed from the ongoing use of the Course told me that that pain was not necessary. Previous “minor” healing of scrapes and burns had provided me with a blueprint that “pain was a poor perspective.” If in truth, there were “no difficulty in miracles,” even this “major occurrence” of pain was not exempt.

Uppermost in my mind, however, was the experience I had had with Jesus several nights before. It had become a milestone in my thinking. From that meeting, I knew now that only the possibility of limitation limited me. Still, the intensity of the pain increased. I could not alone find the point of resolution.

FINALLY, I remembered to ask Jesus for help. Again, instantly, the intensity of the pain was transformed into the now familiar thrust of beneficent Energy I associated with His Presence. Again, the laughing of sheer delight overwhelmed me. As long as I remained focused on the idea of Jesus and the point of metamorphosis (Resurrection?) He represented, I experienced no pain whatsoever, only ecstatic intensity. Whenever my attention wandered back to the worldly preoccupations, I felt the consequence of the pain returning. I recognized now in this very Real occurrence, how, all my life I had misinterpreted the Intensity of Love as pain and had wrongly justified worldly preoccupations by the perception of pain. I saw, True transformation evolves a constant attention to God. I had been asked to test my new awareness, and, I had been rewarded by a true healing: the correction of my perception. I am very grateful.

Nancy
Lyndon Station, Wisconsin
gladly2@juno.com