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"I FELT A PRESENCE" | |
| I
remember feeling a presence in my bedroom when I was 12 years old. My
grandmother had just died a few days ago and she was in my room! Then
she sat on my bed. I was terrified, ran over to my parent’s bed and slept
there. I
have felt ‘a presence’ regularly in my life, nothing defined, almost
like a shadow, and I had always run away from it. The hounds of Heaven…
Anything that could not be verified by my physical eyes was just too
terrifying. I would express my terror and it would leave. I wasn’t ready. And
then, one night, I was 24, the presence stayed with me. Looking back,
I can see that I had been desperately asking for help, to no one in
particular (I was angry at God). I heard myself saying, “What
is going on?” or “How do I get out of this?” And that night, in the
dark, the answer came, it was present with me . I have never ever been
so afraid. ‘Terrified’ doesn’t even come close to describing what I
was feeling. I lived alone at the time, I could not sleep. I turned
on the radio to block out any sound; I left on the light to block out
my spiritual sight, “Go away! Go away!” But it stayed, for three nights,
and my resistance had exhausted me. I could not go on like this. My
colleagues at work were concerned, asked what was going on. I was too
afraid, to embarrassed even, to tell them that I felt a presence in
my room, that I saw it with eyesight that went beyond the physical. That
afternoon the sun was shining, I went outside. I was powerless over
this, and I knew it. I said, “I don’t know who you are or what you want.
But if there is something you want to tell me, do it now, because I
am not afraid.” Even now, I feel so loved when I remember this. Because
in the very same instant I said these words I was engulfed in a light
and forgiveness so intense, it blew me away. It was indescribable. It
woke me up. What I had perceived as evil, a terrifying presence, turned
out to be an experience of love beyond anything I could comprehend.
Everything changed after that, no turning back. I
was doing a Course in Miracles at the time, but I did not relate my
experience to it. I just did not really know what was happening, and
that my mind was transforming. I did the lessons of the course, with
a clock in my hand, every hour. And my life changed. I have incredible experiences of light, of the love of the Universe for me and revelations that are of such glory that I can't even speak of that... S.H.- Netherlands |
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